Merry Christmas 2012

Merry Christmas everyone! May the joy of the Lord be with you!

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Protected: First Thanksgiving As a Family of Three!

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The 1st and 36th

I know…I know….postingan kali ini nih basiiiii banget. Soale ultah gue uda lewat dari kapan tau juga, eh baru posting skarang😦.

Sesuai judul di atas, ultah gue kali ini nih the 1st birthday as a mother dannnnn…..ultah yg ke 36! *hiiiii tua amat sih gueeee!*

Well, ultah kali ini asli ga ada acara apa2 *yang ada T sibuk bantuin temen greja gue benerin mobilnya*, ga ada surprise apa2 *etapi T sih bilang surprisenya nti pas kita ke Cali buat thanksgivingan*, makan2 juga kagak *memble deh gue*.

Kedengerannya nelangsa banget ye ultah gue taon ini. Sebenernya mah ultah gue ini nih ultah yg penuh berkat karena …….

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Yep, my little guy is my joy and the best gift I ever have on my birthday!🙂.

PS *lah jd ikutan si Arman pake PS2an sgala…huehehe*: banyaaaaakkk sekali temen2 yg ngucapin happy birthday di fesbuk loh. Dimule 2 hari sblom birthday gue uda mule ada yg ngucapin, meski benernya salah tanggal tp gue seneng temen2 gue perhatian gitu ama gue…huehehehe. Makasih ya men temen semua yang uda ngucapin happy birthday plus semua wishes nya buat gue🙂

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Personal Giveaway-nya Situkangnyampah

Yukkkk ikutan acara giveaway yang diadain ama Erlia aka situkangnyampah yukkkk. Hadiahnya mantep2 loh, ada ipod shuffle, sony mp3 ama jem tangan timex!

Ga usah pake malu2 biar kata blom kenalan ama si empunya acara ikutan ajaaaaa….(kayak gue ini lah contohnya…..tanpa tau malu tetep aje ikutan biar kata blom pernah kenalan ama beliau :)). Makin banyak yang ikut pan jadi makin seru yaaaa…..

Yukkk mareeee masup  aja ke link ini yaaaaa: http://situkangnyampah.com/blog/2012/11/05/personal-giveaway-celebrating-love/

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Testimony of Dr. Richard Teo

Gue baru baca kesaksian ini dari link nya temen gue. Seorang dokter bedah kecantikan asal Singapore, muda, kaya banget, ganteng *kalo dibandingin cowo2 Singaporean yaaa…hehe* tapi dalam itungan detik dapet berita kalo dia kena kanker.

Abis baca kesaksian Dr.  Richard Teo ini bikin gue sadar kalo kebahagiaan yang sejati itu bukan karena kita banyak duit, ganteng/cantik, bertubuh seksi, pinter, etc. Tapi ketika kita kenal dan tau siapa Tuhan kita itulah kebahagiaan sejati. Seperti yang Dr. Teo bilang, ” It is more important that you fill up the wealth with the wealth of God.” Juga, be thankful buat apa yang kita punya saat ini dan jangan sombong, karena kapan aja Tuhan bisa ambil.

Gue share di sini aja yah, kalo ada yang mo langsung ke link nya silahkan juga karena ada rekaman suaranya juga di link nya itu.

Ini gue copas aja script kesaksiannya. Be blessed!🙂

Dr Richard Teo Keng Siang

Recorded at the Dental Christian Fellowship , on 24 Nov 2011, 8 months after his diagnosis.
Richard would have liked to share this with you. We are doing this to continue his work.
Please have a read and leave it behind for someone else to benefit from his sharing.
If you would like a copy, please let any of his family or close friends know and we will be able to provide both the audio
recording as well as the transcript.
Thank you, and may God bless you richly.
Below is the transcript of the talk of Dr. Richard Teo, who was a 40-year-old millionaire and cosmetic surgeon with a stage-4 lung cancer, sharing at a Dental Christian Fellowship Meeting. He would have liked to share this with you too.
HIS BACKGROUND
Hi good morning to all of you. My voice is a bit hoarse from the chemotherapy, so please bear with me. I thought I’ll just introduce myself. My name is Richard, I’m a friend of Danny’s, who invited me here.
I’d just begin to say that I’m a typical product of today’s society. Before this, I was talking about how the media influences us etc. So I’m a typical product of what the media portrays. From young, I’ve always been under the influence and impression that to be happy, is to be successful. And to be successful, is to be wealthy. So I led my life according to this motto.
Coming from a poor average family, back in those days, I was highly competitive, whether in sports, studies, leadership. I wanted it all. I’ve been there, done that. But at the end of the day, it’s still about money.
So in my recent last years, I was a trainee in ophthalmology, but I was getting impatient, cos I had friends of mine who were going out into private practise, making tonnes of money. And there I was, stuck in a traineeship. So I said, ‘Enough, it’s getting too long.’ At that time, there was a surge in protégés of aesthetic medicine. I’m sure you’re aware, aesthetic medicine had peaked over the last few years, and I saw good money in there. So much so that I said, ‘Forget about ophthalmology, I’m gonna do aesthetic medicine.’ So that’s what I did.
The truth is, nobody makes heroes out of the average GP in the neighbourhood. They don’t. They make heroes out of rich celebrities, politicians, rich and famous people. So I wanted to be one of these. I dived straight into aesthetic medicine.
People were not willing to pay when I was doing locum back in those days. Anything more than $30, they would complain that “Wah, this lo kun (doctor) jing qwee (very expensive)”. They made noise and they were not happy. But the same people were willing to pay $10 000 for a liposuction. So I said, ‘Well, let’s stop healing the sick, I’m gonna become a beautician; a medically-trained beautician.’
And that was what I did – liposuction, breast augmentation, eyelid surgeries, you name it, we do it. It was very good money. My clinic, when we started off, waiting time was 1 week; 1 month; became 2 months; became 3 months. There was so much demand that people were literally queuing up to have aesthetic work done on them. Vain women – easy life!
So the clinic grew. I was so overwhelmed, from 1 doctor, I employed 2, then 3, then 4 doctors, and carried on. Nothing is ever enough. I wanted more and more and more. So much so that we set up shop in Indonesia to lure all the Indonesian tai tai’s. We set up shop, set up a team of people there, to get more Indonesian patients to come in.
So, things were doing well. I’m there, my time has arrived.
Around some time in February last year, I said, ‘OK, I have so much spare cash, it’s time to get my first Ferrari. So there I was, getting ready for the deposit. ‘OK! There comes my first Ferrari!’ I was looking for land, to share with some of my friends. I have a banker friend who makes $5 million a year. So I thought, ‘Come, let’s come together. Let’s buy some land and build our houses.’
I was at my prime, getting ready to enjoy. At the same time, my friend Danny had a revival. They were going back to church, some of my close friends. They told me, ‘Richard, come, join us, come back to church.’
I have been a Christian for 20 years; I was baptised 20 years ago, but it was because it was fashionable to be a Christian then. All my friends were becoming Christians then. It was fashionable! I wanted to be baptised, so that when I filled in a form, I could put there “Christian” – feels good. In truth, I had never had a bible; I don’t know what the bible is all about.
I went to church for a while, after some time, I got tired. I said it’s time to go to NUS, stop going to church. I had a lot more things to pursue in NUS – girls, studies, sports etc. After all, I had achieved all these things without God today, so who needs God? I myself can achieve anything I want.
In my arrogance, I told them, “You know what? You go tell your pastor to change your sermon to 2pm. I will consider coming to church.” Such arrogance! And I said 1 statement in addition to that – till date, I don’t know I’ve regretted saying that – I told Danny and my friends, “If God really wanted me to come back to church, He will give me a sign.”. Lo and behold, 3 weeks later, I was back at church.THE DIAGNOSIS
In March 2011, out of the blues – I was still running around, ‘cause I’m a gym freak and I always go to the gym training, running, swimming 6 days a week. I had some backache, and that’s all I had, but it was persistent. And so I went for an MRI to exclude prolapsed disc. And the day before I had my scan, I was still in the gym, lifting heavy weights, doing my squats. And the next day, they found that half my spine had bone marrow replacement. I said, “Woah, sorry, what’s that?”
We had a PET scan the next day, and they diagnosed that I had terminal lung cancer, stage 4B. It had spread to the brain, half the spine, whole of my lungs were filled with tumour, liver, adrenals…
I said, “Can’t be, I was just at the gym last night, what’s going on?” I’m sure you know how it feels – though I’m not sure if you know how it feels. One moment I was there at the peak, the next day, this news came and I was totally devastated.
My whole world just turned upside down.
I couldn’t accept it. I have a hundred relatives on both sides, my mom and my dad. 100 of them. And not a single one has cancer. To me, in my mind, I have good genes, I’m not supposed to be having this! Some of my relatives are heavy chain smokers. Why am I having lung cancer? I was in denial.HIS ENCOUNTER WITH GOD
So the next day, I was still in a state of denial, still unable to accept what was going on. There I was lying in an operating theatre in a hospital, for a needle biopsy (for histology). There I was, just completed the biopsy, and lying in the operating theatre. The nurses and doctors had left; told me I had to wait for 15 minutes to do a check X-ray to make sure there’s no pneumothorax (a complication).
And there I was, lying on the operating table, staring blankly at the ceiling in a cold, quiet operating theatre. Suddenly I just heard an inner voice; it was not like coming from outside. It was inside. This small inner voice that I had never felt before. And it said very specifically, it said, “This has to happen to you, at your prime, because it’s the only way you can understand.”
I said, “Woah, why did that come from?” You know, when you speak to yourself, you’d say, “OK, what time should I leave this place? Where shall I have dinner after this?” You’d speak from a first person point of view. You don’t say, “Where should YOU go after this?” Whereas the voice that came spoke as a third party. It said, “This has to happen to YOU, at YOUR prime, because this is the only way YOU can understand.” At that time, my emotions just overflowed and I broke down and cried, alone there. And I knew then, subsequently, what it means to understand that why this is the only way.
Because I had been so proud of myself, my whole life, I needed nobody else. I was gifted with things that I could do, why do I need anybody else? I was just so full of myself that there was no other way I could have turned back to God.
In fact, if I were diagnosed with stage 1 or 2, I would have been looking around busily for the best cardiothoracic surgeon, remove a section of the lobe (do a lobectomy), do preventive chemotherapy…The chances of it being cured is extremely high. Who needs God? But I had stage 4B. No man can help, only God can.
A series of events happened after that. I wasn’t sold after that, because of the inner voice, I became believing, prayers, all that. No I wasn’t. To me, it was just ‘maybe there was a voice; or maybe that was just me talking to myself.’ I didn’t buy the story.
What happened next was that I was being prepared for chemotherapy. I started off with a whole brain radiation therapy first; takes about 2 -3 weeks. In the meantime they prepared me for chemotherapy, supplements etc. One of the things they used for chemo was a thing called Zometa. Zometa – they use it to strengthen the bones; once the bone marrow (replacement) is cured of cancer cells, it becomes hollow, so we need Zometa to strengthen the bone to prevent compression fractures.
One of the side effects of Zometa is that it can cause osteonecrosis (bone death) of the jaw, and I had to have my wisdom teeth removed. Years ago, I had my upper wisdom teeth removed, cos it was giving me trouble. The lower ones didn’t give me trouble so I said, “Forget it, just leave it.” So of cause, Danny volunteered to remove it for me.
So there I was, lying there in a dental chair, asking myself, suffering all the side effects of radiotherapy, and now I have to go through wisdom tooth surgery. As if I’ve not had enough to suffer! So I asked Danny, “Eh, bro, is there any other way?
Can I not go though this?” He said, “Yes, you can pray.”
I said, “What’s there to lose? Ok lah, pray lah!” And so we prayed. And we did an X-ray after that. Everything was all there, all the appliances and everything. And lo and behold, the Xray showed that there was no wisdom teeth in the lower jaw. I know most people have 4 wisdom teeth, maybe some have none, but to be missing one or 2, as I understand – I’m not too sure, as I understand – is not that common.
Still I was, “Nah, I don’t care about that.” To me, as long as I didn’t have to take out the tooth, I was happy. At that point, I still wasn’t sold on prayers. Maybe it was just a coincidence – for whatever it’s worth.
I continued meeting my oncologist, asking him, “How long do I have?” I asked him. He said, not more than 6 months. I said, “Even with chemotherapy?” About 3 – 4 months, he said.
I couldn’t grasp that. It was difficult to come to terms. And even as I went through radiotherapy, I was struggling everyday, especially when I wake up, hoping that it’s just a nightmare; when I wake up, it’s all over.
As I was struggling, day after day, I went into depression, which is the typical denial, depression blah blah blah that you go through. But for 1 reason, I don’t know why, there was this specific day that I was supposed to meet my oncologist. At about 2pm, I felt this sudden surge of peace, comfort, and in fact, a little happiness. It was just overflowing. For no rhyme or reason, it just came about 2pm, as I was getting ready, dressing up to meet my oncologist. So much so that I whats-apped all my friends that, “Bros, I just feel so good suddenly! I don’t know why, it just came!”
And it was only days, or was it weeks after, that Danny revealed to me that he had fasted for 2 days for me, and he was bargaining with God, and fasted for 2 dyas, and he ended his fast at that exact same point, about 2pm thereabouts, that this surge of sensation came to me for no rhyme or reason. And I didn’t know that he was fasting for me. And when he ended the fast, I felt that sensation!
Whoa, things were getting a bit too coincidental. I was starting to buy a bit of the story, but still I wasn’t sold. As days passed by, I completed my radiotherapy, about 2 weeks plus. Getting ready for chemo, so they let me rest for a few days.
See, the mortality rate of lung cancer : Lung cancer has the highest mortality rate. If you add up breast, colorectal (colon) cancer, and prostate cancer (the top few cancers in Singapore for men and women), if you add up the mortality rate of these 3, it still doesn’t add up to lung cancer. Simply because, you understand, you can remove the prostate, the colon, the breast, but you cannot remove your lungs.
But there’s about 10% of lung cancer patients who do pretty well for some reasons, because they have this specific mutation; we call it the EGFR mutation. And it happens, only 90% of the time, in Asian ladies who never smoked in their lives. Me, first of all, I’m male. 2ndly, I’m a social smoker. I take one a day after dinner; weekends, when my friends offer me, I take it as well. I’m a light smoker, not a social smoker. But still, my oncologist was still not hopeful for me to have this mutation.
The chances of it happening for me was maybe 3-4% for me to get it. That’s why I was being primed to go for chemo. But through all the intense prayers, friends like Danny, people that I don’t even know, it turned out that, during my waiting for chemo, the results came back that I was EGFR positive. I was like, “Woah, good news!” Cos now I don’t have to undergo chemo at that time, because there’s this oral tablet that you can use to control this disease.
Just to share with you some idea – this is a CT scan – thorax – of my lungs, before treatment.
AFTER      BEFORE
Every single dot there is a tumour. You can see all the mets (metastasis) there. This is just one single plane. Literally I had it in both lungs, and I had literally tens of thousands of tumour. That’s why the oncologist told me, even with chemo, at most 3-4 months.
But because of this mutation, they have this oral medication. This is what happened after 2 months of treatment. As you can see over here; this is what God can do. And that’s why I’m still here having this opportunity to share with you. As you can see over here, the difference between before and after treatment.
At that point, I said, “Well, it’s to be expected, isn’t it? The medicine is good.” I’m still not buying the story. Well, the guys prayed for me and the tumour markers started to come down. 90% of the tumours were wiped out, and the tumour markers came down to more than 90% over the next few months.
But still, you know, once you have the clinical knowledge, you know the statistics. One year survival, two year survival; having all this knowledge is not a good thing. Cos you live with the knowledge that even with all this, the cancer cells are so unstable, they keep mutating. They will overcome and become resistant to the drugs, and eventually you’re gonna run out of medication.
So living with this knowledge is a huge mental struggle, a huge mental torture. Cancer is not just about a physical struggle, it’s a huge mental torture. How do you live with no hope? How do you live with not being able to plan for the next few years? The oncologist tells you to bear with it for the next 1 – 2 months. So it’s a lot of struggles as I went through: March, then April. April was my lowest point, in deep depression, struggling even as I was recovering.
HIS ACCEPTANCE & PEACE
And one of those days, I was there in bed, struggling in the afternoon, asking God, “Why? Why do I have to go through this suffering? Why do I have to endure this hardship, this struggle? Why me?”
As I fell asleep, in my dreamy state, a vision just came, that says Hebrews 12:7-8.
Now mind you, at this time, I had not read the bible. I have no clue what’s Hebrews, I don’t even know how many chapters there are. Totally clueless.
But it says Hebrews 12:7-8, very specifically.
I didn’t think too much of it. I just continued sleeping. Then I woke up, and I said, “What’s there to lose? I’d just check it out lah!” Danny had bought me a bible; it’s still quite new. I said, “It’s ok, just try.” So I flipped to the Old Testament. Hebrews to me sounds like something ancient, so it should be in the Old Testament right? So I flipped through the Old Testament. No Hebrews there. I was so disappointed.
Then I said, “Maybe New Testament, let’s have a look!”. WOW – New Testament, there’s Hebrew’s!! It says Hebrews 12:7-8. It says, “Endure hardship as discipline as God is treating you as His children.”
I said, “WAH!! Where did that come from?” I was getting goose pimples all over my body. I said, “This can’t be, right?” I mean, what’s the chance of somebody, who has never read the bible, to have a vision of a chapter of a specific verse, that answers my question directly?
I think God called to me directly as I was there sleeping, struggling with it, asking God, “Why do I have to suffer? Why do I have to suffer this?” And God says “Endure hardship as discipline as God is treating you as His child.”
At this point, the chance of that happening is even lesser than my EGFR being positive. There’s just no way; there’s so many millions of thousands of verses in the bible, how can I just conjure up something like that?
So at that point, I was sold I said, “YOU WIN! YOU WIN!!”
Ok , I was convinced. And so from that day onwards, I started believing in my God. And the last time I heard that inner voice was the end of April. And that inner voice, same thing, in the afternoon, as I was sleeping (this time I wasn’t struggling, just going to sleep). In a dreamy state I just heard Him say, “Help others in hardship.”
It was more like a command, rather than a statement. And that’s when I embarked on this journey, helping others in hardship. And I realised that hardship is not just about being poor. In fact, I think a lot of poor people are probably happier than a lot of us here. They are so easily contented with whatever they have, they’re probably pretty happy.
Hardship can happen to rich people; it can be physical hardship, mental hardship, social, etc. And also over the last few months, I started to understand what this true joy is about. In the past, I substituted true joy with the pursuing of wealth.
I thought true joy is about pursuing wealth. Why? Cos let me put it to you this way, in my death bed, I found no joy whatsoever in whatever objects I had – my Ferrari, thinking of the land I was going to buy to build my bungalow etc, having a successful business.
It brought me ZERO comfort, ZERO joy, nothing at all. Do you think I can hold onto this piece of metal and it’s going to give true joy? Nah, it’s not going to happen.
True joy comes from interaction with other people. And at a lot of times, it is a short term pride, the past. When you pursue your wealth, Chinese New Year is the best time to do it. Drive my Ferrari, show off to my relatives, show off to my friends, do my rounds, and then you thought that was true joy? You really think that those guys who sold you your Ferrari, they share their joy with you? And your relatives, wow, they share this joy with you? In truth, what you have done is just to illicit envy, jealousy, and even hatred. They are not sharing the joy with you, and what I have is that short-term pride that wow, I have something you don’t have! And I thought that was joy!
So what we have is basically a short-term pride at the expense of somebody else. And that wasn’t true joy. And I found no joy at all on my deathbed, thinking of my Ferrari – to hold on to it, sayang it?!?
True joy I discovered comes from interaction. Over the last few months I was so down. Interaction with my loved ones, my friends, my brothers in Christ, my sisters in Christ, and only then was I able to be motivated, able to be uplifted. To share your sorrow, to share your happiness – that’s true joy.
And you know what makes you smile? True joy comes from helping others in hardship, and because I’ve gone through this, I know what hardship entails. In fact, there’re some cancer patients who tell me a lot of times, people come up to them and tell them, “Stay positive. Stay positive.” Yah, right. You come in my shoes and you try to stay positive! You don’t know what you’re talking about!
But I have the licence. So I’ve been going out to meet other fellow cancer patients, to share with them, encourage them.
And I know, because I’ve been through it, and it’s easier for me to talk to them.
And most importantly, I think true joy comes from knowing God. Not knowing about God – I mean, you can read the bible and know about God – but knowing God personally; getting a relationship with God. I think that’s the most important. That’s what I’ve learnt.
So if I were to sum it up, I’d say that the earlier we sort out the priorities in our lives, the better it is. Don’t be like me – I had no other way. I had to learn it through the hard way. I had to come back to God to thank Him for this opportunity because I’ve had 3 major accidents in my past – car accidents. You know, these sports car accidents – I was always speeding , but somehow I always came out alive, even with the car almost being overturned. And I wouldn’t have had a chance. Who knows, I don’t know where else I’d be going to! Even though I was baptised it was just a show, but the fact that this has happened, it gave me a chance to come back to God.
Few things I’d learnt though: 1. Trust in the Lord your God with all your heart – this is so important. 2. Is to love and serve others, not just ourselves.
There is nothing wrong with being rich or wealthy. I think it’s absolutely alright, cos God has blessed. So many people are blessed with good wealth, but the trouble is I think a lot of us can’t handle it. The more we have, the more we want. I’ve gone through it, the deeper the hole we dig, the more we get sucked into it, so much so that we worship wealth and lose focus. Instead of worshipping God, we worship wealth. It’s just a human instinct. It’s just so difficult to get out of it.
We are all professionals, and when we go into private practise, we start to build up our wealth – inevitably. So my thought are, when you start to build up wealth and when the opportunity comes, do remember that all these things don’t belong to us. We don’t really own it nor have rights to this wealth. It’s actually God’s gift to us. Remember that it’s more important to further His Kingdom rather than to further ourselves.
Anyway I think that I’ve gone through it, and I know that wealth without God is empty. It is more important that you fill up the wealth, as you build it up subsequently, as professionals and all, you need to fill it up with the wealth of God.
I think that’s about it. It’s good to share. Thanks.
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Just wanna share with you…

Holaaaaa….Sejak punya baby gue kalo mo ngapa2in kudu cari waktu yang tepat, yang pasti sih kalo Travis bobo yah gue baru bisa ngapa2in. Mo masak aja gue suka uber2an waktu loh. Kalo pas dia bobonya lama sih enak, tapi kalo pas ni anak tidurnya sebentar2 gitu yang bikin gue lari2an antara dapur ama kamar dia🙂. Tapi biar kata gue cape trus kadang ga punya waktu santai kayak dulu gue sangat menikmati kondisi gue sekarang loh. Setiap ngeliat mukanya Travis, ato denger suaranya bikin gue amazed dan bersyukur🙂.

Ngomong2 soal bersyukur benernya dari kapan ari tuh gue uda pengen sharing, cuma ya gitu deh gue takut dianggep mengada2 ato sok alkitabiah banget. Tapi gue share aja lah ya, ada yang mo percaya sukur kalo ga juga ga papa🙂. Iya, gue mo sharing soal penantian panjang untuk bisa ngelahirin si bocah🙂. Eh tapi di fb sih gue uda tulis sih🙂. Tapi kan ga smua temen blog tuh temen fb gue yah🙂. Jadi gue critain lagi aja deh di sini ya.

Kalian pada tau lah ya gue kepengen banget bisa hamil tuh uda dari kapan tau. Kayaknya dari sejak gue mule nge-blog gue uda kepengen banget punya baby. Mungkin dari sebelom gue mule nge blog kali yah. Emang dasarnya tuh gue suka anak2, dan sejak dahulu kala lah dari sblom kenal T juga gue uda selalu berangan2 kalo merit mo langsung hamil ga mo nunggu2 gitu. Tapi apa daya keinginan hati berbeda ama kehendak Tuhan yah🙂. Jadi gue nih mo cerita janji Tuhan ama pergumulan gue menanti digenapin nya janji Tuhan itu.

Benernya nih dari tgl 19 Desember 2010 tuh pertama kalinya Tuhan bicara ke gue (buat gue ini jadi janji Tuhan ke gue) kalo gue bakal hamil dan lahirin anak cowo. *Pasti ada yang nanya, apaan sih janji Tuhan? gimana taunya itu suara Tuhan apa bukan? Sok2an aja lo Bel!!! :)*. Yah gue sih ga bakal jelasin gimana dan apanya tentang cara tau suara Tuhan yah, kalo gue jelasin di sini bisa jadi panjang deh🙂.

Tuhan bicara ke gue itu lewat ayat alkitab Lukas 1:31a “You will conceive and give birth to a son”. Pas gue dapet janji Tuhan itu sih gue ga langsung gembar gembor ke orang2 yah, bahkan gue ga crita ke T. Kenapa? Karena gue sendiri butuh waktu untuk berdoa dan bertanya ke Tuhan bener ga sih itu janji dari Tuhan ato itu cuma sugesti diri gue sendiri, saking gue kepengen banget punya anak jadinya gue brasanya kayak “Tuhan yang ngomong”. Jadi ya gue diem2 aja deh sambil gue doain terus. Waktu berlalu dan gue ga hamil2 juga.

Lalu kira2 3 bulan kemudian cicinya istri pastor gue yang selama ini jadi misionaris di Nepal tuh dateng trus khotbah gitu di gereja kita. Nah dari beliau ini lah gue juga dapet kata2 prophetic yang intinya tuh Tuhan sayang ama gue dan gue harus percaya ama apa yang udah Dia janjikan. Abis pastor Pam bilang gitu ke gue baru deh gue share ke dia tentang janji Tuhan ke gue kalo gue bakal hamil dan punya anak cowo. Trus, ps. Pam doain gue dan akhirnya dia nyuruh gue untuk siapin nama buat anak cowo ama anak cewe. Abis gue selese di doain dan ngobrol2 ama ps. Pam ini gue tau kalo uda waktunya gue share janji Tuhan ini ke orang2. Yah pastinya ke T, pastor gue ama istrinya plus temen2 di bible study.

Setelah gue share ke temen2 yang laen, mulai deh banyak orang yang doain gue ama T. Banyak bangettt….dari doa yang terang2an alias bener2 di doain secara grup sama silent prayer dari temen2 yang diem2 gitu doain gue ama T *dan gue sangat terharu pas tau banyak temen2 gue yang diem2 bawa gue ama T ke dalem list doa sehari2 mereka*. Dan gue ama T juga mule berdoa buat anak pertama kita ini, juga kita berdua uda pilih2 nama buat baby cowo dan baby cewe sebagai langkah iman kita, meski waktu mo pilih nama yah jujur aja gue sempet mikir, “ih aneh deh milih nama tapi hamil aje blom, jd kayak pungguk merindukan bulan aja”. Tapi ya saat itu sih gue buang jauh2 pemikiran itu dan gue ganti mikir kalo ini ya langkah iman gue ama T *jd nama Travis Matthew tuh uda kita pilih jauhhh sblom anaknya lahir loh :)*

Biar kata banyak yang doain kita plus kita berdua juga ga henti2 nya berdoa supaya si baby nongol, tp kenyataannya gue kagak hamil2 juga. Malah yang ada gue cuma denger temen2 gue yang hamil. Tiap kali gue denger ada yang hamil tiap kali pula gue jadi putus asa dan mempertanyakan Tuhan, “kapan nih Tuhan giliran aku?”. Dan ga terhitung pula gue meragukan janji Tuhan itu. Bener ga sih itu janji Tuhan ato gue yg ngrasa2 aja saking pengen banget punya anak? Banyaklah pemikiran2 yg mempertanyakan Tuhan gitu. Tapi gue bersyukur dikasih suami yg cinta Tuhan dan punya iman yg kuat di saat iman gue lemah. T sering banget ingetin gue,”He promised us already, why do you still question Him? Don’t you trust Him? He will fulfill His promise in His time”.

Dan…akhirnya seperti yang uda pada tau Travis lahir tanggal 7 September kemaren. Tepat apa yang dijanjikan Tuhan kalo gue bakal hamil dan ngelahirin anak cowo🙂. Nama Travis Matthew sendiri kita pilih karena selaen kita berdua suka nama itu juga arti nya yang bagus *menurut kita berdua loh*. Travis artinya melebihi yang diharapkan. Matthew artinya hadiah dari Tuhan. Jadi Travis Matthew artinya hadiah dari Tuhan yang melebihi pengharapan kita. Yah gue ama T percaya kalo Travis ini blessing dari Tuhan buat keluarga kecil kita. And He chose him since the beginning to love and serve the Lord🙂.

Dan gue mo share ayat alkitab yang jadi pegangan gue buat ngegedein my baby boy, dan ini harus gue inget terus sampe akhirnya nanti gue ngelepas Travis saat dia uda dewasa🙂

“I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.” And he worshiped the Lord there. (1 Samuel 1:27, 28 NIV)

Fresh from the oven aka baru kluar dari perut gue….:)

Baby skinnya lagi pada ngelupas nih jadi kayak ganti kulit gitu

I love him so much🙂

Cobaaa tebak mana bapaknya mana anaknya?….

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Lahiran….Lahiran….

Aihhhh…..Travis uda sebulan aja, dan gue blom crita2 proses nge-brojolin si little dragon ini *btw, gue juga shio dragon loh, seneng aja punya anak shio nya sama. Dan, tau ga sih si T kan punya tattoo gambar 2 dragon gitu, ukurannya besar ama kecil, jadi gue sering bilang ama T, ini dia uda engrave gue (dragon yang gede) ama Travis (dragon yang kecil) dari sblom gue kenal ama T :)*
Halah kok jadi ngelanturrrr…..Ya sud mari daku crita2 dulu yak…..

5 September 2012
Beres mandi pagi gue nanya ke MIL, air ketuban pecah itu gimana tandanya soale dari semalem gue nemuin kayak tetesan aer di panties gue, pas semalem nya sih gue kirain gue ngompol jadi gue cuekin aja, tapi pas pagi2 nya gue mo mandi kok ada lagi. MIL sih bilang bisa langsung banjir bisa juga kayak rembesan gitu. Ya uda tuh gue cuek2 aja lah, abis lagian besokannya tuh (6 September) uda jadwal appointment ketemu obgyn gue jadi gue pikir tunggu besok aja lah.

Trus, abis ngrumpi2 bareng MIL en T, gue ngacir ke wc, eh gue liat kok ada lagi tetesan aer gitu di panties gue. Langsung laporan lah gue ke T, gue bilang gimane nih biar kata besok juga uda ketemu obgyn gue tapi gue kan deg2 an juga takut kalo bener2 air ketuban gue pecah ntar yang ada bisa2 anak gue kenapa2 di dalem. Akhire T nyaranin untuk telpon obgyn gue dan tanya kita harus ngapain. Ya uda gue telpon dah obgyn gue, ditanya2 sgala macem ama susternya. Emang sih kemarennya tuh gue searian kontraksi mulu dan termasuk sering tuh kontraksinya cuma aja kagak gue itungin brapa lama tiap kontraksi. Jadi si suster obgyn gue nyuruh gue periksa ke RS ke bagian Triage nya. Akhire pergilah gue ama T ke RS. Kita mah pikir paling cuma di cek doang itu cairan beneran air ketuban gue ato bukan. Ternyata oh ternyata begitu sampe di RS, gue di pasangin alat2 buat detak jantung bayi ama kontraksi gitu, lamaaa banget deh. Trus baru deh tuh di cek cairan yang keluar itu air ketuban apa bukan, dan ternyata bukan. Trus kita di suruh nunggu lagi soale si suster kudu kasih tau obgyn gue. Setelah nunggu lama, tau2 si suster bilang kalo obgyn  gue nyuruh gue untuk ultrasound lagi! Aje gileee padahal minggu lalu nya tuh gue baru aja cek ultrasound yang mana hasilnya ok2 aja dan baby gue beratnya uda 8.8 lbs tuh.

Jadilah gue didorong2 di ranjang ke ruang ultrasound. Asli deh gue ga demen bener di dorong2 di ranjang gitu, trus ngelewatin kamar2 plus orang2 gitu, rasanya kok gue disabled bener yah! Si T sih ngikutin gue yang lagi di dorong2 ama suster. Selese dari ultrasound gue didorong balik ke ruang Triage ini, gue ama T sih uda mikir bakal selese deh kita bisa pulang, trus uda rencana sgala abis ini mo ajak MIL makan di resto mexico gitu. Gue ama T sih pede aje kita bakal pulang saat ini juga, soale dokter di ultrasound bilang hasilnya bagus. Gue uda clingak clinguk nyariin sendal gue trus uda pengen bangun dari ranjang gitu, tau2 si suster nya bilang, “tunggu dulu bu, karena hasil air ketuban ibu tuh kurang dari jumlah normal, jadi obgyn ibu merencanakan untuk melahirkan bayi ibu skarang. Ibu sekarang boleh pulang tapi nanti jem 8 balik lagi karena kita mau monitor terus kondisi bayi dan ibu. Nah sekarang saya mo cek serviks ibu”. Lahhhh…..gue ama T jadi liat2an, gue jujur aja saat itu uda ga betah banget loh tiduran segitu lama. Kita nyampe RS tuh jem 11 an dan jem 1/2 3 gitu gue masih nangkring di atas ranjang. Trus gue brasanya ga siap gitu tau2 kudu ngelahirin sekarang.

Setelah beres di cek serviks yang mana kata susternya serviks gue uda melembut, kita di suruh tunggu lagi karena kudu nunggu komen dari obgyn gue. Tiba2 si suster nongol lagi dan langsung bilang, “Obgyn ibu baru aja nelpon, dan kita ganti ke plan B yaitu ibu langsung masuk ke ruang bersalin sekarang, jadi kita mau monitor dari sekarang dan mau di kasih obat supaya serviks nya beneran lembut dan kebuka. Jadi bapak bisa pulang sekarang ambil barang2 ibu trus balik lagi ke mari”. Huaaaaa….makin kaget deh gue, abis beneran ga nyangka bakal di inap kan hari ini juga. Gue mah masih mikirnya bakal pulang, trus makan di resto mexico gitu.

Akhire apa mo dikata lah ya, jadi si T tuh telpon2 ke tempat kerjanya buat ngasih tau kalo dia bakal mule cuti nya hari itu. Trus nelponin MIL gue, suruh MIL siap2 jadi begitu T mpe ambil barang cabut lagi deh ke RS, uda mana kan RS gue tuh di downtown gitu yang mana sumber macet, nah pas T pulang itu uda jem 3 an jemnya orang bubar kantor. Jadilah T nyampe rumah skitar kurleb jem 5 an. Gue ditinggallah di RS, trus dari ruang Triage gue dipindahin ke ruang bersalin. Trus begitu mpe di ruang bersalin, mule deh ditancep ini itu, ya infus2 gitu deh. Si suster nancep2in infus, gue kelaperannnn. Asli deh laper banget gue, abis terakhir makan tuh ya makan pagi jem 9 an gitu. Terang aje gue laper berat, uda mana si suster nya ga sadar2 lagi ngasih gue menu padahal suster dari ruang Triage itu uda ngasih tau kalo gue blom makan sama sekali jadi kudu dikasih menu buat mesen2. Akhirnya ga tahan deh gue langsung aja gue minta menu ama si suster. Susternya dengan polosnya bilang, “Oh iya ibu belom makan ya.” Buseddddd…..

Menu uda ditangan, si suster lanjutin masang2 sgala macem, ketak ketik di konputer, dan gue milih makanan deh trus nelpon buat ngorder. Menunya sih isinya enak smua kedengerannya, begitu masuk mulut…yeeee ga ada rasa gitu bused deh. Saking gue laper jadinya gue pesen yang berat sekalian deh pasta2 gitu. Karena gue masih malu2 kuciang jadi gue pesennya ga banyak2 huehehehe….benernya sih gue ga tau aja kalo gue tuh boleh pesen makanan sebanyak yang gue mau dan ya uda termasuk di biaya inap gitu *ketauan deeee maruknyaaa :)*

Nah ternyata obgyn gue hari itu lagi libur gitu, jadi dia telat dah dateng nengok gue meski sih smua instruksi ama data2 dikirim per telepon ama komputer. Yang ada gue di oper ama partnerannya obgyn gue, cewe juga sih dokternya. Obgyn gue instruksiin supaya gue dipasangin alat namanya full balloon catether yang mana alat ini bakal dimasukin ke dalem lewat bawah, dan setelah alatnya masuk dikasih cairan deh jadi alatnya itu menggelembung kayak balon. Fungsinya sih supaya serviks gue melembut dan ngebuka gitu. Posisi balonnya tuh yang atu di serviks yang atu lagi di deket kepala bayi *jujur aje sih gue juga ora ngarti pas di terangin, gue suruh si T aja yang dengerin*. Dan sodara2, mau tau rasanya gimana pas dimasukin tu alat? Amit2 sakitnya ga kira2!! Uda mana dokternye kagak canggih, masa masukin itu alat ga berhasil dalam sekali masuk, yang ada kluar masuk dah tuh alat, dan pastinya bawah gue tuh dibuka pake alat dongkrak gitu dah *kata si T sih yang ngeliat*. Kalo dulu gue pernah bilang pas di pap smear itu sakit, setelah gue ngalamin dimasukin si balon kateter ini, beneran pap smear mah ga ada apa2nye dehhhh. Gue saking nahan sakit ampe keringet dingin tau ga sih.

Rasanya bener2 ga nyaman deh. Sakit sih engga cuma ya ga enak aja, mo kencing susah mo jalan susah. Jadi yang ada gue tiduran aja diranjang. Uda gitu skitar jem 1/2 10 dimule deh tuh gue diinduksi, karena gue rencananya mo natural birth jadi ga pake epidural ga pake obat apa2, jadi gue diinduksi nya tuh bertahap, dari dosis kecil ampe banyak gitu.
Malem skitar jem 10 an obgyn gue nongol, trus ngejelasin kalo gue direncanakan bakal brojol tuh besok dan dari jem 1/2 10 ini nanti pitocin (obat buat induksi) nya bakal ditambah setiap brapa jem skali dah gue lupa. Ya udah deh, slese ngejelasin ke T en gue obgyn nya cabut pulang, sblom dia pulang sih gue wanti2 ke dia kalo gue mau dia yang deliver baby gue nti, soale gue baru tau kalo pas2an obgyn gue lagi tugas di RS laen jadinya gue dioper ama partner dia yang saat itu lagi tugas di RS di tempat gue. Yaelaaaahhhhh kok bisa sih kayak gituuuu! Bete abis loh gue pas tau, soale kan gimana ye kalo bukan obgyn gue kan gue ga tau itu dokter pegimane. Dan gue takut kalo yang deliver baby gue tuh bukan obgyn gue. Makanya gue wanti2in tuh obgyn gue. Trus obgyn gue bilang besok dia tugas di RS gue itu ampe jem 5 sore, jadi gue kudu brojol sblom jem 5 sore.

Slese urusan ama obgyn gue suruh deh T ama MIL pulang jadi mreka bisa tidur karena besok tuh jauh lebi penting, karena ga mungkin dah gue brojol malem ini. Stelah T ama MIL pulang, tinggal deh gue plengak plengok sendirian….ihhhh rawat inap di RS tuh ga enak yaaaa. Gue baru sekali ini loh di rawat inap di RS sebelom2nya mah ga pernah sama sekali! Gue nyoba tidur tapi ga bisa tidur, dan si pitocin ini mule bekerja, jadinya gue brasa kontraksi2 gitu, tapi rasanya ye beneran mules kayak pengen boker tau ga sih. Dan asli gue ga bisa tidur sama sekali, ampe suster jaganya bolak balik bilang ke gue, “usahain tidur ya bu biar besok ada tenaga buat nge push.” Oh iya sakingan gue ga bisa tidur yah jadi gue ngobrol deh ama suster gue, ternyata si suster baru kawin trus ketemu suaminya lewat internet. Susternya baik sih. Enaknya nih ya suster gue tuh 1 jadi tiap shift ganti ya cuma 1 suster aja, jadi enak kalo mo apa2 tinggal cari itu suster.

6 September 2012
Pagi2nya jem 7 gitu gue uda bangun *tepatnya sih di bangunin* karena pergantian suster jadi perkenalan gitu deh antara gue dan suster baru🙂. Duh suster yang shift pagi ini yah baikkkkk banget. Sabarnya ga kira2, padahal bule loh susternya *entah kenapa gue selalu ngrasa ga nyaman berurusan ama bule..hueheheh aneh ya padahal si T kan bule :)*. Dia cabut itu si balon kateter….phewwww leganyaaaaa…..enak bener dah mo jalan mo kencing bebassss! Gue minta mandi deh, jadi alat monitor detak jantung baby nya di copot dulu, cuma gue diwanti2 kudu cepet mandinya. Akhire karena sadar diri gue kalo mandi itu kan kudu kumplit, dari boker, mandi, keramas dan bakalan lama punya dah. Akhire gue cuma boker ama bersih2 bawah aje, begitu gue pipis banyak darah keluarrrrr…..gue langsung jantungan! Emang sih darahnya tuh bukan darah seger gitu tapi dalam bentuk lendir ama gumpalan darah deh. Bgitu slese lap2, suster uda ngetok pintu kamar mandi, katanya obgyn gue uda dateng, gue kudu buruan kluar. Jadi gue blom sempet nyisir ama sikat gigi, langsung dah gue ngesot ke ranjang lagi. Kali ini obgyn gue ngecek kondisi serviks gue ama uda bukaan brapa, dan serviks gue tuh uda ok untuk brojolan juga gue uda bukaan 3. Dan sekarang obgyn gue uda ngerobek kantong ketuban gue, cuma di tusuk gitu sih jadi keluarnya tuh ngerembes gitu. Trus pitocin gue dosisnya ditambahin lagi, dan obgyn gue bilang, “bayi nya bakal lahir ni ari!”. Excited sih gue pas denger itu🙂.

Ga lama T ama MIL nyampe. MIL gue excited banget, trus dia mo ikutan ngliat gue brojol setelah kita tau dari suster gue kalo selama gue mau gue bisa minta beberapa orang untuk nemenin gue saat brojolan. MIL gue saking semangatnya lupa dia nanya dulu ke gue, boleh ga dia ikutan di ruang bersalin pas gue brojol…huehehe. Gue pas kontraksi yah uda latian napas, dan karena di induksi nya bertahap ya rasa sakit kontraksinya juga bertahap yang mana gue jadi ga brasa jebret sakit gitu. Dan saking gue kontrol rasa sakit gue lewat napas jadinya muka gue tuh paling cuma ngeringis2 doang, sampe akhire suster gue selalu nanyain, elo kontraksi apa engga. Karena dia ga tau kapan gue kontraksi, dan dosis induksinya uda tinggi banget dosisnya. Ampe akhire pas obgyn gue dateng dan dapet laporan kalo gue ga menunjukkan muka lagi kontraksi jadi susah buat suster untuk monitor, jadi obgyn gue minta gue dimasukin alat untuk ngecek kontraksi jadi hasilnya tuh akurat ga berdasarkan raut muka gue lagi. Gue juga bingung sih dapet kekuatan darimana, karena suster ama obgyn gue tuh pada takjub ngeliat gue kontraksi uda tinggi gitu tapi gue nya kok kayaknya ga brasa sakit. Bukannya ga brasa sakit yah, sakit sih sakit tapi ya gitu tiap sakitnya dateng langsung gue tarik napas buang napas gitu deh. Yang gue tau gue cuma mikirnya nti pas ngluarin si baby pasti lebi sakit dari kontraksi kalo skarang aja gue uda keok gimane nti pas brojolin si dede. Trus pas ganti shift suster yah suster di shift berikutnya ampe bingung bolak balik ngliatin monitor ama muka gue karena pas liat monitor nandain kontraksi tinggi tapi muka gue kalem aje ampe dia nanya ke suster yang sebelomnya, “ini dia lagi kontraksi nih? kok mukanya ga kliatan kayak orang kontraksi sih. Biasanya ibu2 laen uda pada jejeritan minta epidural”. Beneran deh gue juga takjub sendiri kok bisa ya gue nahan sakit padahal gue ini ga tolerant ama rasa sakit loh. Diambil darah aja gue uda teraduh2. Uda gitu gue sempet ketiduran pula plus ngorok…huahaahahah ampe malu gue🙂. Mungkin saking kecapean ya nahan sakit plus semalemnya tuh ga bisa tidur kan gue. Kalo makan sih ya jangan di tanya deh uda ga bisa makan lah. Untungnya pas pagi gue sempet makan pagi.

Berhubung uda nyampe jem 5 sore gue blom brojol juga, obgyn gue kan kudu tugas ke cabang RS laen, tapi dia bilang sih dia bakal balik kalo gue uda siap brojol. Tapi kalo dia ga sempet balik, ya partner dia yang bakal deliver baby gue. Sedihhhh banget gue😦. Abis gimana ye itu kan obgyn yg selama 9 bulan ngecek in si dede, jagain si dede supaya bisa sehat selama di kandungan. Mellow deh gue jadinya. Uda mana pas dokter yang partneran ama obgyn gue nongol, masih mudaaaaaa…..haiyaaaaa langsung ciut deh gue mikirin bisa apa kagak nih dokterrrr.

Skitar jem 1/2 8 si dokter muda ini ngecek gue uda bukaan brapa, dan ternyata baru bukaan 4! Dan dia langsung bilang ke gue kalo sebaiknya c-section aja dengan pertimbangan gue uda kontraksi kayak gitu tapi bukaan gue kagak maju2, takutnya kalo kelamaan si baby nya stress di dalem, meski sih ampe saat ini babynya tuh ya baik2 aja. Gue langsung bete loh pas denger dia nyuruh gue c-section. Kalo MIL gue bilang keliatan sekali muka gue antara kecewa ama marah gitu pas denger si dokter nyuruh gue c-section. Ya iya lahhhh….gile aje gue uda tahan sakit, uda semua juga bole deh lu lakuin selama gue bisa lahir normal. Masa tau2 disuruh c-sec sih, gue brasanya ihhh siapa elo obgyn gue bukan nongol2 langsung mutusin c-sec, plus keinginan gue ngelahirin natural birth jadi pupus gitu. Yang ada gue liatin si T, mana si T diem2 aje lagi. Akhire si T ngomong sih kalo ditunggu besok pagi gimana, ya si dokter muda ini sih ngejelasinnya gitu, karena pada saat kontraksi itu, babynya itu di teken kebawah ke pintu lahir, sedangkan pintu lahirnya nih baru kebuka 4 cm doang, jadi gambarannya si babynya kegencet di tengah. Trus karena tau gue ga rela di c-section, si dokternya bilang ya udah deh kita tunggu ampe jem 10 malem kalo dalam 2.5 jem ini bukaannya ga maju2 juga ya harus c-sec, dan biasanya kalo uda nyampe 4 cm itu bakal bisa jadi magic number, bukaannya tuh bisa cepet banget.

Gue uda lemes aja, plus sedih sih. Gue sempet bilang sih ke si T telpon obgyn gue tanya dia gimana, soale terakhir kan obgyn gue ga bilang apa2 soal c-section. Cuma si dokter muda ini uda bilang kalo obgyn gue tau juga dia bakal nyuruh c-section *yang mana ternyata kata obgyn gue si dokter muda ini ga ngasih tau dia loh kalo gue mo di c-section! Kupret bener tu dokter muda!*

Gue doaaa terus, pengen banget bisa lahir normal. Tapi begitu jem 10 tiba pas dicek lagi ternyata bukaan gue masih di 4 cm aje…haiyaaaa gue uda sebel deh liat muka tuh dokter. Gue bilang aja undur 1 jem lagi deh liat aja kalo dalam 1 jem ga ada perubahan juga ya uda di c-section. Gue ama T doa terus dah tuh, yang terutama sih buat gue nya yah biar gue ngrasa damai gitu. Asli gue pengen nangis banget tapi gue tahan2in soale gue takut kalo gue emosi gue acak kadul, nti pas ngelahirin bisa konsentrasi gue ilang.

Akhire 1 jam berlalu, dan bukaan gue masih tetep di 4, dan dengan berat hati kita putusin ok untuk c-section. Emang sih T uda omongin ke gue, natural birth itu baik dan itu yang kita mau, tapi apakah itu yang Tuhan mau dan yang terbaik buat gue? Waktu kita doa juga, gue uda pasrahin sih, gue cuma bilang minta yang terbaik yang Tuhan mau. Kalo emang harus c-section Tuhan bakal jagain gue dan proses sembuhnya juga cepet. Tapi kalo Tuhan mau gue lahirin normal, Tuhan bisa bikin serviks gue ngebuka ke 9 cm. Jadi, gue ama T sih uda siapin hati dan mental untuk apapun keputusannya setelah 1 jam terakhir itu.

Pas gue uda lagi siap2 untuk di operasi, istri pastor gue nelpon, dan langsung deh gue nangis. Karena istri pastor gue ngomongin ke gue hal yang sama yang T omongin ke gue kalo natural birth itu kan kemauan gue, tapi apakah itu yang Tuhan mau buat gue. Jadi lama2 sih gue bisa relain juga kalo gue harus c-section.

Setelah dicopotin segala kabel2 yang nempel, cuma infusan aja sih yang masih nempel dan dokter anestesi dateng ngejelasin kalo gue bakal dikasih anestesi spinal *bukan epidural, seriously gue ga tau bedanya spinal anestesi ama epidural* dan MORFIN yang mana untung T bilang kalo gue ada sleep apnia *padahal mah engga ye, cuma aje gue suka ngorok kalo tidur*, tapi itu yang menyelamatkan si dede dari morfin. Ih gue ogah bener deh pake morfin, kan bakal kena ke baby gue. Gue disuruh pake shower cap gitu ama kaos kaki. Trus T di suruh pake baju ama tutup sepatu ama shower cap gitu deh. Jalan deh kita ke ruang operasi. Gue nya juga jalan loh cuma pake kaos kaki yang di kasih itu. Aneh ya, kok ga didorong di ranjang yah? Hahahhaa….

Itu ya pas di tusuk spinal gue haduhhhhh amit2 sakit yaaaaaa…..apalagi pas masuk ke tulang ngiluuuuu😦. Abis itu gue disuruh cepet2 tiduran, dan dalam itungan detik bagian bawah dada ke bawah langsung kebal. Trus ga lama gue menggigil kedinginan. Beneran ga nyaman sekali loh, biar kata uda dikasih selimut anget tetep ga nahan gue menggigil.

T nemenin gue dong ya, dia elus2 pala gue trus sambil bilang, “you’re doing great babe!”. Trus, dokter anestesi nya kan bediri di samping kanan gue yah, dia ngliat2 tuh proses gue dibelek, jadi si T ikutan bediri2 ngliat gue dibelek, ampun dijeee berani bener si T *setelah operasi selese si T baru cerita kalo dia ngeliat pas perut gue dibuka trus pas dokternya ambil si baby dari dalem, dan yang horror2 selanjutnya gue uda ga mo dengerin deh bikin ngiluuuu*.

7 September 2012
Si dokter anestesi bilang, “iya bentar lagi nih baby lo lahir”. Trus ga lama kedengeran deh suara tangisan Travis. Dan gue denger si dokter muda bilang,”What a cute baby boy. Tapi kenapa kepalanya bebentuk cone yah? Interesting! Dan ada tanda kayak ring warna merah gitu di samping kepalanya, ini tanda dia uda nge push mo kluar tapi bukaan nya ga cukup gede buat dia kluar. Jadi keputusan kalian untuk c-section nih tepat sekali!” Dan waktu Travis lagi di bersihin ama di prikas gitu gue bisa liat, karena posisinya di samping kiri gue, agak jauh sih tapi gue bisa liat. Perasaan gue saat itu sih antara seneng ama pengen cepet keluar dari ruang operasinya, soale gue masih menggigil kedinginan! T sibuk poto2in si baby, trus pas di timbang semua suster2 pada ribut, “Wahhhh gede banget! 9lbs 2.8oz!” Trus slese dibersihin dan dibungkus kaen, dikasih deh ke T, trus T bawa ke samping gue…..antara percaya ga percaya ini baby anak gue🙂. Trus gue cium deh kepalanya Travis dengan mulut yang masih gemeteran.

Slese gue dijait, berbondong2 lah kita balik ke ruang bersalin, MIL gue uda nungguin aje. Tadinya gue disuruh gendong Travis, cuma gue bilang gue lagi gemeteran takut jatoh kalo gue gendong. Jadi ditaro di perut gue deh si Travis🙂. Begitu nyampe, baju gue langsung di buka trus kaen yang ngebungkus Travis juga dibuka, trus kita skin to skin deh. Lucu deh pas blom skin to skin tuh si Travis nangis kenceng, begitu di tempelin ke dada gue langsung diemmmm haduhhhh gue rasanya gimana banget deh. Trus breastfeeding juga langsung gitu. Ga lama Travis nya diambil lagi trus di cek2 ini itu, trus cap2 jari kakinya. Trus dibungkus kaen lagi dikasih ke T deh. MIL gue seneng banget, MIL ama T sibuk gendong2, gue sih lagi dibersihin ama suster2.

Setelah 2 jam lewat dan gue uda bisa gerakin kaki, dipindahin lah gue ke ruang pemulihan, dan Travis nya tidur ama gue, jadi ga ditaro di kamar bayi gitu. Gue cukup seneng sih ama RS nya, karena waktu babynya di cek ini itu tuh ya di depan mata kita, trus pas di ruang pemulihan aja yah kalo susternya mo ngecek Travis, alatnya loh yang di seret2 ke dalem kamar gue. Cuma sekali doang deh Travis dibawa kluar dari kamar gue pas mo dimandiin, itu juga benernya T kudu ikutin suster yang mandiin Travis, cuma aja saat itu T blom nyampe.

Total gue di RS tuh 4 hari 5 malem, dan rasanya legaaa banget pas pulang ke rumah. Pada akhirnya sih gue mengucap syukur lah ya ngambil keputusan c-section, karena dari posisi Travis aja pas masih di perut tuh ga tepat2 banget untuk lahir normal, karena nyamping dia. Dan puji Tuhan proses pulihnya bekas operasian gue juga cepet. Gue bisa bilang smua2nya serba cepet dan ga ada kendala yang berarti deh. Beberapa jem setelah operasi aja, gue uda bisa jalan, bisa duduk, bisa lipet kaki. Ampe pas T ama MIL gue nyampe RS lagi trus ngliat gue lagi duduk kaget mreka. T ampe nanya, “ehhh emang boleh duduk sekarang? Ga sakit?” Gue juga katanya muka gue ketawa ketiwi gitu ga kayak orang abis operasi. Entahlah ya gue sih brasanya biasa aja sih.

Dan yang lebih menggembirakan lagi adalah kita ga perlu bayar apa2, karena asuransi yang bayarin. Dan T dapet surat dari pihak asuransi yang menyatakan kalo mereka approve biaya c-section gue karena c-sectionnya itu tindakan yang emang harus diambil karena kalo engga bisa ngebahayain ibu dan anak. Kita kaget loh pas tau kita ga perlu bayar apa2. Soale pas kita liat biayanya ya….ampun dijeee mahal bener yah brojolan di mari. C-sectionnya aja ya tanpa obat ama rawat inap itu mo $30,000 kuran brapa dollar gitu. Mateeeee dahhh. Biaya kamar aje $4,500/hari….hiiiyyyyy gileeeeee serem deh ngliatin harga2nya.

Yah….gue sih cuma bisa ngucap syukur lah ya. At the end, it doesn’t matter mo c-section ato natural birth, yang penting Travis lahir sehat gue nya juga sehat🙂.

Dan sekarang ga brasa aja Travis uda sebulan lebih! Ahhhh….don’t grow too fast my baby boy!

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